Jeff is Dumb

Here is everything that Jeff posted. He obviously went to some extremes, and probably scoured all of my posts for errors before making the following comments upon my apparently superior intellect.
(Errors in Red)

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GrammerNazi makes a mistake!!!!!!!!!!

(Quotation Mark)Be sure to make it out to the poles before they close, or you will be (Insert [...])(Quotation Mark)

I would like to point out that poles should be polls. yah that is a mistake. thats right(comma) a mistake!!!
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Wow, nice job comrade. Better luck next time!

GrammerNazi makes a mistake!!!!!!!!!!

Be sure to make it out to the poles before they close, or you will be

I would like to point out that poles should be polls. yah that is a mistake. thats right a mistake!!!

The Pirate Election Comes To A Close!!!

The official pirate election draws to a close. Who will be the next leader of the disorganized fleets of the pirate empire? Will it be the uncouth Captain Jeff? First Molestation Mate David Bukowski? His fifteen year old loveslave with webbed feet, Pip Carlson? Or even, the honorable Captain Mike "Grammar-Nazi" Sparrow. (Note: The term "grammar-nazi" has nothing to do with grammar being placed into concentration camps and systematically executed. Or does it?)

The current popular vote:
47% David Bukowski (Democratic Party)
33% Mike Sparrow (Republican Party)
19% Pip Carlson (NOT IN THE A**!!! party)
1% Jeff Sparrow (Independent Party)

Yes Pacific Residents, that is a resounding 47% percent for Sodomy. Be sure to make it out to the poles before they close, or you will be axed. Have a day.

Remember Theo Van Gogh

Recently the Dutch filmaker Theo Van Gogh was slain by muslim extremists who said his film "submission" was insulting to the muslim faith. This was done by extremist, and the action has been condemned by several major leaders of islam. While his film did not insult the faith itself it insulted the way women are treated by men. The film "submission" can be found at http://www.ifilm.com. Please do not let his work be forgotten. Theo Van Gogh, rest in peace

Starcraft is not l33t

Starcraft isnot l33t

Dear all people who are still obsessed with starcraft.
GET OVER It. The game is s00per old and is an unjust cause of obsession with video games. I know to many people who for them Starcraft is not a fun game, it is an all purpose topic of conversation. No one wants to hear your Jim Raynor fan songs. No one wants to hear about the "OMG ZERG RUSH!!! OMG OMG OMG ZERG ATTAKATTAKATTAK. ITS ZERGS CAN YOU BELIEVE IT" If here another topic discussing the relative merits of each race in starcraft i think my head will explode in boredom. My other big gripe is the fact that the game is edging up on 10 years old and people are still talking about it. The graphics were always bad, and have no ability to look like a retro game of the past that people want to be trendy and go to hot topic and buy a cool shirt that says "know your zerg rushes" for wink wink knudge knudge potential. It seems to me that the people that have the tshirts that say know your mushrooms and know your roots are always the people that arent video game freaks because if you were a video game freak you would have tshirts from the internet like the "you forgot poland" tshirt or what ever. anyway the point of this is if your going to play starcraft dont talk about it cause no one cares

THE JIM RAYNOR SONG!!!! OMG NOOB!

Jim Raynor! Jim Raynor!

He rides his vulture and he rides real fast
But the protoss can kick his ass

Jim Raynor! Jim Raynor!

Terran Firebats, Ghosts, and marines
Blow the zerg to smithereens

Jim Raynor! Jim Raynor!

The Protoss Archons fall to the ground
When the zerg invade their town

Jim Raynor! Jim Raynor!

Terran n00bs bleed blood-red blood
Zergling rush knocks them to the mud

Jim Raynor! Jim Raynor!

Yes, Dark Templar are really cool
But with detector units they get schooled

Jim Raynor! Jim Raynor!

OMG N00B! Go Starcraft!

Writer's month dealiemabober.

Dealiemabober = word, apparently. Is anyone participating in this writing thing Jeff is talking about? I'm mainly writing this so I can shamelessly post a link to mine: Outbreak, and also so I can find out where Jeff's will be. I don't know if I'll have the commitment to actually finish a 50,000 word book by the end of the month, but what the heck, I'll give it a shot anyway. This is considering that I started my story like a month ago, and have finished like two pages. Take that work ethic.

Ashlee Simpson Loses!

As many of you know I am constantly making fun of artist who are owned by the Big Record labels and are a high percent computer generated sound. Jessica Simpsons younger sister, Ashlee Simpson who is only famous for having an older sister. But she was on SNL with Jude Law and hilarity ensues when you find out that she is really lipsyncing and probably has little or no talent. She could have taken this and run with it, but thats not in her contract Im guessing. So if it doesnt bring her money why should she bother? Thats what I hate about music today. Its too much about money and not enough about making good music. The video can be found in the following link http://www.collegehumor.com/news/ashlee_snl.wmv

Lookout! A Monkey!!!

A monkey!?!?! Where!?!?!

My Awesome use of the Unofficial Student Forums

It all started off when a kid I know from school created a forum from our schools. Being me, I could not resist a one man spam attack. I present all of the forums i created at that website and another one called politicaldebate.tkForum 1F
or all of you who dont know, the best fan film series for star trek on the web is Star trek new voyagesFor all of you who dont know, the best fan film series for star trek on the web is Star trek new voyagesThey only have one episode so far but it rocks. you can get it at 5yearmission
Responses:
You really like star-wars don't you?
Jeff is what you would call obsessed
No more Spamming Jeff or i will be forced to punish you This post has been edited by Tino on Mar 17 2004, 05:03 PM
Then there was the signature that he forced us to use our real names in, and I changed mine after he manually changed it when I refused.
His response:
Jeff H.Jeff do not change this again or I will suspend you
Then I changed it again and this showed up
Jeff H.Jeff do not change this again or I will suspend youWhat about saturday schoolJBTS"worst movie ever"-kid in computer art urban free flow


Here is another thread created by the Moderator that I spammed.
The thread was……
This is just to have a little fun to celebrate creation.So post your worst swear words and phrases here. and have fun. Note this will only be

My response was
I like Potatoes
Another Thread I wrote was title “We should play DnD”2 days.
it would be cool to playwe could say things like "i can kill 27 garkons with one ulasfark"
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Another Thread I Created
one time i found a cool website. i liked it. it had cool graphics. but i cant remember what it was calleddoes anyone remember what it is called:ph43r: Stick around for tommorrows update with the rest of the adventures

The Next Big Project!

The Wandering Robots Film Studio has decided to begin produceing a new movie that is not yet titled. The movie is a musical about a robot invasion! An excerpt from the first song is included below
Robot Invasion
Look, in the sky!
Are we going to die?
It looks like a spaceship!
It looks like a spaceship!
Now its turning.
The hull is burning
Its coming down
It hit the ground
The police surround
Sirens roar, it hit the floor
The door its opening
Bated Breath, suspected instant death!

Robot: Surrender Humans or die!
Humans: Eat pizza Pie (chuck pie box)

The fog is clearing
The people are fearing
Bullets are racing, looked onto their course
But we should have known robots can’t be killed by sheer brute force.

Song Lyrics

Lockjaw
It’ll clench your teeth
It wont hurt your feet
Make it tough to breathe

Lockjaw!
Lockjaw!
Its in your blood,
Comeing on in a slow trickle not a flood

Don’t let your brain be crusty
Don’t touch stuff that’s rusty

Enjoy your smoothie
Cause your mouth cant movie

Hot dogs in a blender
Eggs in a blender
Spaghetti in a blender
It don’t matter how it tastes cause you’ll soon be dead

Mono
Mono
Mono
Mono
Mono

You share a cup
Soon you cant get up

You get kissed
You wont be missed

Mono
Mono
Mono
Mono
Ebola

Stays in your blood for six to eight weeks
Enjoy your tiredness
Enjoy no energy

Your boyfriend called
Hes in the hospital
Its you he hates
Because you gave him mono on your third date

Feel it catching in your throat
Blood running down your coat
Soon their will be a moat between you and the living

You’re a Robot
Why wont you cry
When someone dies
Are you dead?
You don’t give yourself enough cred
You’re a robot
A robot
The robots killed you and did the deed
Then ate you body as feed
Now you have gears built into your ears

bug attack!

I was reading my book
When I decided to take a look
And there was a bug, a bug, a bug on my hand.
It was a lean, green Human eating machine
It might just be on creatine
Personalized Action figure
I just lost my personalized action figure

And come to think of it my money to


Amtrak Song
No trash in the aisle
Stop treating us like bile
Yes I know we were late, but that doesn’t make us second rate

Silver Ducttape shants wearing girl

Your just a silver duct taped shants wearing girl
Shants wearing girl
Shants wearing girl

You have duct tape on your leg in the shape of a cross
Your attitude is also cross

Hardcore
Hardcore

You have scars on your arm
I think you work at a farm
On second thought maybe not

Hardcore
Hardcore

Your clothes are as black as night
I think you wanna fight
But no ones gonna bite

(chorus)

The music, I can hear it across the train
It must be blasting in your brain
Hard core
Hardcore

It might be punk
Maybe metal
All I know is that youll never settle for anything less than loud!

Hardcore
Hardcore

Your just a silver duct tape shants wearing girl
Shants wearing girl!

Gummy Bears on the Stairs
Gummy bears on the stairs
my heart flairs
I was eating potato chips and my heart skipped
When I saw the Gummy bears on the stairs
From inside my secret lair
I saw the gummy bears on the stairs
And I care about the gummy bear I found on the stairs

Rip It off!
Toenail is red
Blood is red
Don’t rip it off you’ll soon be dead

Rip it off
Rip it off
Rip it off

Hanging by a thread
The pains about to go to your brain

Don’t be mad, blame your dad
Hes the one who caused all the pain
I know you want to rip out his brains
Hes the one who moved his glass with his elbow and made you spill all of the jello

Goodbye, Cruel World

It has come to my attention that some people may think this picture indicative of my mental state. I assure you that I am in no way suicidal, although I may be somewhat insane, this picture is meant only for your amusment, you sadistic freak. Geez, What is wrong with you? You disgust me.

Awesomesauce Quotes

"Dave Barry is a killer of men. He has slain at least five personally, using nebulous diplomatic immunity rights to avoid criminal prosecution, although at one point the federal government threatened to extradite him to Peru."
~Zack Parsons, Something Awful (2004)

Captain Oveur: You ever been in a cockpit before? Joey: No sir, I've never been up in a plane before. Captain Oveur: You ever seen a grown man naked?
~Airplane (1990)

Dr. Evil: The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap sack and beaten with reeds - pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.
~Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997)

Principal: Any attempt to cheat, especially with my wife, who is a dirty, dirty, tramp, and I am just gonna snap.
~Billy Madison (1997)

Nursing Home Orderly: You can trouble me for a warm glass of shut-the-heck-up. Now, you will go to sleep or I will put you to sleep. Check out the name tag. You're in my world now, grandma.
~Happy Gilmore (1996)

Mayor: Now Drebin, I don't want any trouble like you had on the South Side like last year, that's my policy. Frank: Well, when I see five weirdos dressed in togas, stabbing a man in the middle of the park in front of a full view of 100 people, I shoot the b******s, that's my policy. Mayor: That was a Shakesphere In The Park Production of Julius Caesar, you moron! You killed five actors! Good ones!
~Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad!(1988)

Milton: And I said, I don't care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I'm, I'm quitting, I'm going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they've moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were married, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn't bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it's not okay because if they take my stapler then I'll set the building on fire.
~Office Space(1999)

E.L.: Or if, uh, you're too wasted to remember- it is not cheating. Because if you can't really remember it, it never really took place.
~Road Trip (2000)

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Okay folks, that's all for today, as this is getting very, very long. Stay tuned for Awesomesauce Quotes 2.

Delay Not! Read it instantly!

This text is actually just here to distract you while a group of bruly
ex-convicts breaks into your house, brutally bludgeons your family
members, and your pasty, bulbous, Krispy Kreme devouring derriere or your
lean, muscular, jock-like, grocery-bagging derriere is drug out and shot.
Even is you read this, you are being drug out and shot. No? If you are
still reading this, that is not a good thing for me, because you are
not being drug out and shot and you are becoming less and less
interested in what you are currently reading. Though my burly
ex-convicts could be late, in which case your pasty, bulbous, Krispy
Kreme devouring derriere or your lean, muscular, jock-like, grocery-bagging
derriere is almost currently being drug out and shot while I distract you
with this typing and ... you are still reading this aren't you. Crap.
Now I am starting to look stupid. Why are you still reading this? My
burly ex-cons obviously haven't arrived to drag you out and shoot you,
ergo, you should go do something with your life, such as playing a
"Constructive" video game where you shoot things, or beating a
sibling.